Okay, yes, it's been awhile. Lots has changed in my life, and I feel that it is mostly for the best.
I recently decided to take a sabbatical from religion. Christianity in particular. I am taking a year off from church, reading my Bible, praying, listening to Christian music, and yes, even acknowledging God's existence.
I'm am absolutely certain that some of you reading this are praying for me right now. I ask you not to. This is something I need to do. I have doubts and questions that I need to answer on my own. I know that many of you Christians think that apart from God there is no goodness. Well I disagree. In the few months since making this decision I have seen more good in places I never would have thought to find it. I have been free from guilt and judgement. I have learned to love in a beautiful new way and see how all people regardless of religion, race or sexual orientation  are amazing and fantastically kind and giving. I have let go of trying to be the perfect "Proverbs 31 Woman". I am free to love and care for my family and friends in a way I never thought possible.
I am discovering the joy of life and I have never been happier. Even my kids and my husband have noticed a huge change in me. I am not constantly trying to turn them into perfectly well behaved Christian children. They ARE well behaved and amazing all on their own. I almost wish I could go back ten years, I would never spank my children, or tell them they needed to be good because "God says so". I have so many regrets, but at least now I can make the necessary changes to raise my family as loving, accepting people.